Tuesday, February 13, 2007

sólo la sed nos alumbra

"And you would think now hope would be tired,
But it's all right.
You would think tired, ragged and oil-brown,
But it's all right.

Since everything's possible,
We will still go,

~ The Innocence Mission, Go.

The phenomenon of an interior renewal, whether occasional or continuous, is a tremendous mystery. We might simply resign our thoughts with an expression such as "well, the sun rises tomorrow, and shall assuredly each day." But that is at best a surface observation, and is insufficient. How is it possible that a barely visible grain of hope becomes enough to move a mountain? What happens in the dark night of the soul when, for a seemingly interminable span of time, thoughts of an apparent tomorrow offer no encouragement- and then a palpable aspiration arises? Sure, my friends have heard my "I hope so's," and "I think so's," uncertain to the same level as my wonder that a newness of life should be delivered to a doubtful person like me. Is it a question of strength at all?

Breaking the bonds of time begin to resemble the ways we can jettison our past's dead wood. In this I am learning how the future lights the present, not the other way around. My natural skill at perseverance would now be little more than status-quo, without a mysterious undergirding force that has not emanated from me. A flickering signal light can increase to a persistent fire within, and beneath what I can hardly describe is the sure call to courage. Now to maintain this spirit. But then as a true paradox it would be subverting to be concerned with the distance ahead and any sort of grasping, rather than to be about the immediacy of being.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Well, my internet connection went down as soon as I sent my comment, so I'm not sure if it actually went through or not.. If so, please feel free to delete this comment as it will largely be repetitious..

A wonderful and meaningful post as always my friend. The pictures are beautiful and it really looks like a great and magical place..

For a very long time I too had lost almost all hope with a great many things. I still held on to that small shred of hope however, that things would be, and could be better.. I refused to release that tiny glimmer of hope that still remained, and suddenly, out of the blue, that hope has given new meaning, and has in turn changed so many things in my life.

Never let go of that last bit of hope..

I greatly appreciate your writing, and although I may not comment on each and every post, I always take the time to read each one carefully..

In this vast sea they refer to as cyber-space, I always look forward to visiting your wonderful little corner..

Your Friend,