Saturday, July 15, 2006

where your heart is, there will your treasure be also

"And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not."

~Saint Paul, Letter to the Galatians

Being one of God's squeakiest wheels, I am impatient for the proverbial grease: the heavenly balm of consolation and answered prayers. Being not just a noisy cog in the Great Works, but human to a fault, not seeing dividends brings out the little kid in me that says, Hey! What about me! No fair! Fairness was always about everyone getting their due turn. Kids are extraordinarily attuned to partiality. That awareness is supposed to make us into better adults, but we all know it rarely does. Some of us remember how to speak in turns, and defer to others (even on expressways), but a very scarce few of us truly embody patience.

Being thoroughly convinced I cannot force the powers of fortune, ironically speaking- patience is urgently needed. Waiting need not be synonymous with passivity; it is simply part of the process of growth and preparation. Indeed, one can live fully while also in a liminal waiting space. Motives can be refined. Summer is a nice time to travel the roads and smell the flowers. For how long? Nobody knows, least of all myself. It puts faith to a trying test, to say it will be worth it, just watch. For the time being, there's absolutely no reason to live a rehearsal life. If my heart is centered on what I perceive to be the delights of society, I will not find my treasure in spiritual life. What and who has my heart? I need a good road trip to ponder this one...

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