Wednesday, July 26, 2006

all that i could want and nothing that i need

"Our minds can make infinite discoveries,
sloth alone puts limits to its wisdom and its inventions."

Jacques-Bénigne Bossuet

One day, one of my photographer friends stopped into my studio and told me about her backlog of work. I still remember how she said, "I have so much work I could just stand still!" What a brilliant stroke of description. We can get so overwhelmed that our running-in-place causes us to freeze in our tracks.

Recent days have swirled into a blur (or have they blurred into a swirl), due to some employment related deadlines. Of course it is a distraction in this journeying season that eludes clear description. The project will have its day, and I will remain with my thoughts. I've never been one to savor languishing; if things are not happening, they must be made to happen- by hook or by crook. But the murky twist this time is that patience is forcing its way, and this summer- which feels so much like a winter- is creating the most peculiar hunker-down season. When what to do is unclear, what I can do is discover from within and simply abandon to the present moment. Reading, writing, talking, listening, being. It is something of a rebellion against elusive fortunes. Perhaps I might say that if my hopes are not materializing, then I'll ground myself well enough so that when they do, I'll be better prepared.

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